The Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom | Cool stuff and the musings of a mad genius.

Classic Fuckery

I was going through some old chat logs from November 2008 when I found this little gem…

<@Baka-chan> Real men play 2d fighters on the NEO-GEO! ;o
<ogopogo> i OWN a fucking neo-geo
<ogopogo> let’s see you do as much :3
<@Baka-chan> I own TWELVE.
<@Baka-chan> You just got served.
<ogopogo> riiight?
<@Baka-chan> http://media.giantpachinkomachineofdoom.com/blog/2008-10/images/boardmv1b.jpg
<@Baka-chan> http://media.giantpachinkomachineofdoom.com/blog/2008-10/images/boardmv1c.jpg
<@Baka-chan> http://media.giantpachinkomachineofdoom.com/blog/2008-10/images/boardmv2fa.jpg
<@Baka-chan> http://media.giantpachinkomachineofdoom.com/blog/2008-10/images/boardlot1.jpg

It’s not like I need HELP with my fuckery, but when someone gives me such a perfect setup, my typical automatic schadenfreude is elevated to what I can only describe as sheer predatory glee.  CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!


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Why Steins;Gate is about me

I have come to the conclusion that someone at nitro+ must know me somehow, because the Steins;Gate characters of Okabe Rintarou and Hashida Itaru seem to be based on different aspects of my personality. Not only that, but there are also central plot elements, and some supporting character traits that seem to come from my life as well. I joked about it when I started watching the show, but now that I’ve catalogued the coincidences, it’s pretty disturbing.

Here are some supporting facts:

  • I have a labcoat.
  • I (used to) drink almost nothing but soda, and acted like it fuels my brain.
  • I hardly ever sleep on a proper ‘bed’.
  • I have an affinity for weird old tech like Nixie tubes.
  • I have a full electronics lab, workshop, and rather extensive computer ‘battlestation’.
  • I like to invent things of questionable practical value.
  • I have my own weird naming conventions for my creations and projects complete with random esoteric elements.
  • I am an exceedingly eccentric genius who plays at being a villain.
  • I have a pseudonym that I go by.
  • I have countless strange mannerisms including catchphrases and a tendency to act with a certain theatricality.
  • I’m probably legitimately crazy.
  • When I was younger, back in the infancy of dial-up internet access, I was a SUPAA HAKAA.
  • I am an incredibly awkward nerd and shut-in, almost solely involved in my own little world.
  • I have an attractive female friend whom I’ve known basically forever who means the world (And then some) to me, and whom I would probably destroy the space-time continuum for if necessary.
  • Said female friend has an off-beat personality, and sometimes refers to herself in the third person using a corruption of her name.
  • Over the course of 2008-2010 I made all sorts of claims that CERN was trying to destroy the world and/or enslave humanity.
  • In the summer of 2010 (When Steins;Gate takes place) I modified an Infrawave oven for ‘the purposes of science’. But never tested it. At the time, I was– and currently still am –living in an apartment over a shop, the owner of which is my landlord.

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New Vectors! – METAL SLUG

Decided it was finally time to put my Metal Slug games in Shockboxes, so I was going to need the logos!

What can I say?  I’m very good at this.


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PlayStation Network – When something just *works*.

Until today, the last time I used PSN was in 2008, when I purchased flOw for my PSP, and downloaded the Wipeout Pulse demo.  The day before yesterday, I took the small bit of money I’d set aside to get myself something for my birthday (Money separate from my fundraising efforts, obviously.  I’m not THAT corrupt.), to take aim at a target of opportunity on eBay; a Money Idol Exchanger cartridge for my NEO-GEO cabinet.  I love that game!  Sadly, it was not to be.

This morning, I charged up my PSP because I was going to my grandmother’s for Christmas dinner.  (Yes, on the 28th.  Because of the schedules of those who would be there.) I have a NEO-GEO emulator on my PSP, which I use almost exclusively to play Money Idol Exchanger, it’s the only ROM I have on it for a game I don’t actually own for original hardware.  Then I remembered that there was a PSP/PS3 port of the PlayStation version of MIE, but that it was only available on the Japanese PSN.  With that in mind, I decided to see if anyone had finally ripped it…  A quick googling turned up something awesome; it was now available on the US PlayStation Network store, as an ‘Import’.  And it’s only $5.99?!  Well, I had to get it.

What about my firmware though? I remember last time I tried to access PSN from my PSP, it told me to either install the official firmware or piss off.  And the custom firmware is always a bit behind the official, so what if there’s no custom firmware with the version this thing wants?  But wait! There IS a custom firmware with the latest version!  So, I upgraded.

I bought the game on my PC, and used their application to put it on my PSP, and then I went about getting to grandma’s.  When I finally stumbled off to bed after getting home, I took my PSP with me to play some Money Idol Exchanger in bed.  But I found myself wanting to check out PSN, now that it has comics and all sorts of crazy stuff.  So I went exploring.  Found all sorts of neat free comics.  Then I checked out games.  Look at all these old PlayStation games!  Look at all these SNK arcade ports!  And the downloadable PSP games!  HEY! METAL SLUG ANTHOLOGY?!  AND METAL SLUG XX?!  And there’s even DLC for METAL SLUG XX?!  HORY CARP!

I didn’t have any money to be doing anything with, but now there’s a half dozen games I want to buy…  Such are the wonders of digital distribution when it JUST WORKS.  Right there, on my PSP, curled up in bed, I was able to surf the store, cart up items, and if I’d had the money, buy them.  Sony, I’ve hardly bought any PSP games since the year I imported my Ceramic White PSP1000 gigapack from Zipang, but that isn’t to say I pirate them,  I simply don’t buy games.  I use my PSP for emulation, and for enjoying the few PSP games I do have.  But if you make it this easy to buy games, I’ll do it!  It’s like Steam.  Do you have any idea how many TENS OF THOUSANDS of impulse buys take place on Steam every day just because there’s basically no obstacles?  And I don’t even mean during a sale!

What happens when the next OFW comes out and I can’t update my CFW to match?  I’ll suddenly be unable to access the store?  I hope not, Sony.  I hope you guys smartened up.  Because if you effectively block CFW users from using the PSN Store through the use of version requirements, you aren’t forcing people to install the OFW, you’re simply making them NOT PAY FOR GAMES.  Think about that.  Remove as many obstacles as possible, and the money WILL flow.

- End Rant


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Bakachan and IRC; Equal Measures Villainy and Comedy

I have been known to make sport of people on IRC, it’s one of my pastimes.  But usually someone has to catch my attention to be targeted. Let’s talk about one of my pet peeves: Away messages and notifications.  Seriously.  It makes sense if you’re a channel regular, or staff, or really anyone people give two shits about, but if you’re just a randumb (My term for those sub-voice users who just stumble into the channel.) there’s no fucking reason for it.  This is where our story begins.

<exReality|afk> ffffffffff
<exReality|afk> i cant change my nick without leaving the chan
* Parts: exReality|afk (~exReality@test.a.ban)
* Joins: exReality (~exReality@test.a.ban)
<exReality> woops left the wrong channel
<unmei> a) register b) it’s probably a +M channel blocking you …
<exReality> yeah i have to link the nick
<exReality> or group…
<kyouma87> how’s that for you?
<+Bakamoichigei> Why the fuck do you think anyone cares if you’re AFK?
<unmei> yeah, the command is group
<+Bakamoichigei> I’m the most conceited son of a bitch here, and I -know- no one cares if -I’m- away.
<exReality> i play this game called erep
<exReality> people keep pming me

Hmmm, erep?  Could it be?  I should note that in this channel erepublik is a banword because people keep coming in and spamming URLs.  I don’t actually know what the site is, but after his next response, I figure it’s some stupidfuck game like mafia wars and that other shit.  Which only made me want the inevitable outcome even more…

<+Bakamoichigei> erep?
<exReality> ya
<+Bakamoichigei> What’s that?
<exReality> its on the same server
<exReality> some political web browser game
<+Bakamoichigei> Got a link or something?
<exReality> www.erepublik.com
* Athena sets mode: +b *!*@test.a.ban
* exReality was kicked by Athena (Watch your language!)
<&jdp> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<+Bakamoichigei> I am a golden god.
<&jdp> fucking ( `ー´)八(`ー´ ) HI5

I do so love being right, and evil.

I’m not always an asshole though, I do high comedy as well, if I do say so myself.

<@cardslash02> flash it sounds like you manage the same software i used to work under at a call center
<@cardslash02> what’s it called?
<&FlashGordon> clarify
<@cardslash02> the software that handles call volumes
<&Bakamoichigei> inb4 that’s what it’s called and we’re about to reenact “Who’s on first?”
<&FlashGordon> [21:25] (@cardslash02) the software that handles call volumes
<&FlashGordon> not certain
<@cardslash02> do you use it yourself?
<&FlashGordon> only team managers and supervisors are made familiar with such software
<&FlashGordon> i use clarify
<@cardslash02> oh dear
<@cardslash02> baka
<@cardslash02> it is called clarify
<&Bakamoichigei> “What software do you use?” “Clarify.” “The software that handles call volumes.” “Not Certain.” “Yeah, I know Certain, we use it for payroll. So what do you use for call volumes?” “Clarify.” “The software you use!”


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Steve Jobs – So Long, And Thanks for All The Macs.

My first computer was an Apple II, my first modern ‘Personal Computer’ was a Macintosh 512k. I was a Mac before it was hip. I was a Mac before there was a PC.  (I was a Mac before many of you were BORN.)

I went over to PCs around the time Windows 95 came out, at a time when almost no apps had cross-platform file compatibility, and boy was that a pain in the ass!  Yet I can honestly say I’ve never thought about going back.

I always felt it was Steve Wozniak and the engineers behind products like the original Macintosh that made such things possible, Steve Jobs just made them sexy enough for you to want to buy them. There’s a point at which Apple stopped being about using hardware wizardry to make game-changing products that no one else could or wanted to, and turned into a hipster version of what they always hated: IBM.

That said, I am no less saddened by this news. Because while the engineers may have been responsible for the technical magic, it never would have left the garage in Cupertino if Steve Jobs hadn’t been able to market it, to make everyone want something they didn’t know they’d always needed; a personal computer, thus changing the world.


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Evangelion Scholar – Lecture 1: Rebuild as a Sequel

Okay, I’ve made this argument many times on IRC and in random threads here and there since Rebuild of Evangelion 2.22: You can (not) advance came out, so I thought I’d lay it all out right here.

The new Evangelion ‘Rebuild’ movies are not a retelling of the series, they are a sequel.  The events of these movies occur after the original End of Evangelion movie, and I’m about to show you why that is obvious to me.

The What and Why-For of it:

Shinji rejected instrumentality and in that single instant in which he was basically in control of all living things, and effectively reality, opted to reboot the world.  So, the events of the new movies play out as if the series never happened, but nonetheless takes place after the events of the series and End of Evangelion.

Evidence For:

Seas of Blood
The seas are red.  The opening shot of rolling red surf is almost identical to a shot in the last few minutes of End of Evangelion.  An alternate explanation however is that they are picking up more details from scripture this time and the seas have been red since Second Impact. (A fact supported by EVA2.22)  Revelation 16:3 says “And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man; and every living thing in the sea died.”  Though given the additional evidence, I’m willing to go as far as ‘It happened in EoE, and was hand-waved in the rebooted reality as having happened during Second Impact.’

The Moon
The line of blood across the moon occurred in End of Evangelion; it was arterial spray from ‘Giant Naked Rei’.  There is no other possible explanation for this.

The Mass Production EVAs 
The outskirts of Tokyo3 show evidence of the remains of the Mass Produced EVA units, some of which descended from Low-Earth Orbit, crucified, and run through with duplicates of the Lance of Longinus.   Remember that no angels had surfaced since Second Impact, and no EVA unit had been successfully activated yet, so there’s no explanation for EVA/Angel-sized chalk outlines and depressions in the bloodied ruins surrounding Tokyo3.

Ikari Yui
There is no evidence that the soul of Ikari Yui resides in EVA Unit 01.  None of the instances of Unit 01 acting on its own to protect Shinji are present.  This fits with Shinji bidding farewell to his mother, as Unit 01 drifted out into space, and the light going out of its eyes.  There are two small holes in this theory however; the original berserker incident is left almost completely untouched, and when the Dummy Plug won’t initialize, Gendo still says his original “Why are you refusing me, Yui?” line.  But neither of those are definitive proof of anything and could very well be red herrings.

Kaworu
Damn-near all of Kaworu’s dialogue up to this point seem to indicate that he is conscious of the fact that this is not the first time these events have played out.  It’s a common trait given to him in various media that he sometimes says things relevant to different continuities, and occasionally breaks the fourth wall, so that’s pretty normal.

Arguments against:

“If Shinji could remake the world as he wanted, why is he still suffering?”
This is a good question.  There are a several theories.  It could be social commentary by Hideaki Anno about how screwed up youth are today; think “If you could make the world however you wanted, you’d choose to still be miserable!” Or, Shinji realized that if he had a ‘normal life’, he’d never meet any of these people who he cares about.   Maybe he simply wanted to ‘try again';  he seems to be getting better.  Asuka is treating him (marginally) better.  He’s managed to get closer to Ayanami, who is acting a lot more human now.  He is close to maybe getting along with his father better.  And he certainly manned-up to save Ayanami, all on his own.  Of course, maybe Shinji’s just…Shinji…and it never occurred to him to try and be happy.

“Why would it be a sequel? And if so, why wouldn’t they just say it?  This is pretty convoluted, man.”
We’re talking about Hideaki Anno.  You know damned well he hates EVA fans and just wants our money.  Also, he’s batshit insane.  In all seriousness though, why not?  It adds depth to the lore that isn’t immediately apparent and makes it so old fans get more out of it, while new fans don’t have to go back and watch the series.


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Package Shenanigans

Man, sometimes I just don’t know…

With the last of the generous investment from dovac, I ordered some electronic components from a Chinese eBay store.  I do this a lot, with no issues.  In fact, I’d done it two other times in the previous weeks.  This time, the wheels came off the wagon.

Acceptance, September 14, 2011, 8:47 pm, CHINA PEOPLES REP
Processed Through Sort Facility, September 15, 2011, 9:06 am, SHENZHEN, CHINA PEOPLES REP
Processed through Sort Facility, September 19, 2011, 1:42 am, ELK GROVE VILLAGE, IL 60007

Okay, so far so good.  Just like the last two packages, it’ll go from Illinois to Massachusetts, and then to Vermont.  Right?

Processed through Sort Facility, September 20, 2011, 10:03 pm, PHOENIX, AZ 85043

What? Hey, stop it! What are you doing? You’re going the WRONG WAY!!

Processed through Sort Facility, September 22, 2011, 9:31 am, BELL GARDENS, CA 90201

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUU–!!!  STOP GODDAMMIT WHATAREYOUDOING?!?!

Processed through Sort Facility, September 26, 2011, 11:40 am, JACKSONVILLE, FL 32099

NOW I’M REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED!

-Update!-

Just following up.  Yes, it eventually arrived.

Processed through Sort Facility, October 01, 2011, 9:03 am, SPRINGFIELD, MA 01152
Arrival at Unit, October 03, 2011, 6:56 am, MIDDLEBURY, VT 05753
Delivered, October 03, 2011, 11:58 am, MIDDLEBURY, VT 05753

That was more than a little absurd.


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A New Challenger Appears!

Once again, a comic has spawned from my crazy head and Swift‘s pen.

Just some quick background since this is like half a dozen inside jokes crammed together into a superdense lolularity…  EvilLinkz is obsessed with some girl on NicoNicoLive we refer to as ‘the webcam goddess’.  The geese thing comes from Liru, who attends U Waterloo, where campus geese are constantly harassing people, and so that’s become a sort of meme.  And then there’s me, being an SNK nerrrrrrd.

[08.02/04.08.38] <+Swift> Also I hope evillinkz didn’t die in a fire
[08.02/04.09.21] <@Bakamoichigei> Oh, it wasn’t a fire. :3c
[08.02/04.09.44] <+Swift> Geese?
[08.02/04.10.08] <@Bakamoichigei> Yes.
[08.02/04.12.15] <@Bakamoichigei> Geese Howard killed EvilLinkz’s father, and EvilLinkz set out on a journey to train himself and become the world’s best fighter and defeat Geese Howard! But he was a little confused about his training, and challenged a pack of Canadian geese to a fight.
[08.02/04.12.19] <@Bakamoichigei> It did not end well.
[08.02/04.12.26] <+Swift> hahaha
[08.02/04.12.45] <+Swift> I’d draw that if I wasn’t lazy

Anyway, here’s the result:


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Meanwhile, in Baka-land…

For those who don’t hang out in my IRC channel, I’m going to lay out what’s been happening with me.

Well, for the latter half of June, my dad had been pretty sick, eventually being more or less incapacitated in his computer chair, requiring me to bring him water and stuff to drink. (He wouldn’t eat)  On June 30th, my mother and sister took him to the hospital, and over the course of a week or so, it turned out that he had stomach ulcers that were bleeding, combine this with the fact that he hadn’t eaten anything in a week because, as he put it, ‘nothing tastes good’, and he was in a bad way.  At the hospital he was pale, almost ashen, and he was pretty out of it. (He would later admit to me that he had no recollection of this hospital stay.)

He was later transferred from the local hospital, to the enormous facility about a 1.5 hour drive away, where he underwent treatment and recuperated to the point that they released him a little over a week later.  After being home for several days, and being checked up on by visiting nurses, they found that his blood pressure and blood cell count were too low, and he was taken back to the hospital, where he stayed for less than a week, as they determined that he wasn’t still bleeding anywhere, but was simply suffering from anemia in general.  He’s been home ever since and is doing well.

Read what I went through while my father was away, after the jump. Read more ›


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